And now…here I sit with a gut full of my life’s lessons and bullshit that has tuned into a rich compost; and a heart full of ache so intense at times, that it feels like a damm of BLOOD RED BLUES, (the name of our upcoming 2012 Spring Release); that will burst through its ribs of containment during certain moments of overwhelming compassion.
Fortunately for me, I was given a gift to release all this compost and compassion into. Writing. I can only call it a gift as I had nothing to do with it, whatsoever. It started when I was a young girl, and its been extremely natural… like opening my eyes in the morning without thinking about it. It flows, when it comes, like a facet. I don’t think about it and that may be the secret. I go into the space of the actual experience itself. I’m ‘feeling’ the entire thing in my minds eye and body as my psyche searches for words that will do justice to the emotions of the experience or circumstance.
This gift formed itself into prose, poetry and lyrics during my early years.. most of which was thrown into a box which I still have sitting in the closet waiting for me to go through and publish. In my early 30’s I began to carve the writing – stripping down the wordy poems and prose – into lyrical compositions for the vocalist in me who did not have such an easy natural glide into her voice.
The true Cee Cee James that most of my fans know of today, was born out of a 20 year marriage that had slowly disintegrated into old gray dusty ashes shoved into every un-seen corner of our minds so we wouldn’t have to look at what we had become; followed by my ‘Voodoo Child’ exit, twice over and finally into the safe haven behind a huge shield of a new man’s love who then took on cancer the month he moved in with me. Ah.. the hard edge glare of death cutting through my weak boundaries of existence, driving its slick knife straight through my numb auto-pilot functioning into the unprotected tenderness of my desperately hungry heart.
Whew.. deep breath…Ah… wow… hummm… Ok, better now…
When I left my first marriage and opened my mouth at a local blues jam on Coronodo Island in the San Diego area, an energy came out that I knew was in there that I had never been able to access. When Woody died, the monster got even bigger and it took me over. Suddenly I was a vehicle for this ‘voice’ which now has Cee Cee James dubbed as the “VOCAL VOLCANO.”
There’s much more to the history of Cee Cee James, who used to be known as Christina Fasano aka ‘the funkywhitegirl,’ who released a lyrically loaded pop/funk Cd in 1999 which won a few great awards and gained many many fantastic reviews, etc., etc. but I’ve focused here on the last 10 years of my life as this has been when ‘the turning’ toward the inner depth of my heavily composted core has occurred through life putting me face down in the mud of myself.
For me… my best teacher(s) have been life, every interaction, every situation, every encounter, every breath, every dream, every everything. At this present moment I have a Life Degree entitled “BIG LOVE,” which by the by.. is not perfect, is not about image, is not about what I’m wearing, what size my body is, my breasts, my hips, is not about what kind of house I have, what I eat, what I drive, what kind of games I could play with my female sexuality.. My ‘BIG LOVE’ Degree is not about anything at all except what I plan to bring to my fans through my writing of prose, poetry, lyrics, through my singing, and finally tieing it all together – through my ‘spinning banshee’ “VOCAL VOLCANO” performances.
And if you enjoy it, you can thank your own inner life for bringing us together because if you ‘get it’ you have been where I have been in some way, shape or form.
Welcome to the show.